i dont know what to name this blog? Haha

Woke up early again this morning!? I know wtf is wrong with me right? Haha well whatever, nothing better than getting an early start right? Haha

Well i went home to go shower because Kristina wanted to go on a road trip. So i went home and no one was home.. Idk well i took my shower and then, i walked into my sisters room. I seen a couple weeks back that she was accepted to California State University, Los Angeles. So i went in again this morning and saw two more acceptance letters. One from San Diego State and one from UC Riverside. Well the first thing that came into my head was that im so proud of her. She's finally a senior in high school and she did what she had to do to get accepted into good colleges. So i wish her the very best in which ever college she decides to attend.

Well that also had me thinking like 'damn i wish i was still in school' and i also wished i would of worked harder in school and been accepted into some good colleges. I know i wasnt the smartest or whatever in high school but i know now that i should of done my work and did more to get into the good colleges.

Well everyone has problems within themselves and within their homes and beyond. I dont come from the richest family in the world or anything like that but neither am i poor where me and my family are like starving at home. Theres only three people in my house that work in a house of six. One of them is my older brother, whoom i dislike very much because he believes hes right all the time and he wastes his income in alcohol and video games. Thats not the life to live. He decided to join the Marines right after high school because he didnt want to attend college and thought that was a waste of time. Well... hes 22 and still lives at home and works at FedEx. That doesnt really sound like an 'American Dream' to me.

The next person who works is my younger sister. Out of anyone in my family, i am very proud of her. I know she has done alot to get to where she is. She works, has track practice and still has time to do hw. So i tip my hat to her and her success.

The last person is my mother. Me and her really havent had such a good relationship since the summer of my junior year of high school. We have gotten into many arguments and we still currently do not speak to one another.

Well where this is going is money doesnt buy happyness and yes i spelled it like the movie haha. My family loves one another equally even if they dont show it at times. Well i think with everything that everyone is going through. You should always look at the postive things that you have in your life. Dont worry about how much your getting paid at your current job. Everything happens for a reason. Be grateful for what you have in your life and im starting to become more and more grateful for what i have in my life. So thank you to my friends and family. I love you all.

Well i have two options in mind for my future. One is going back to school and actually instead of going back to Chabot, was going to the Culinary Arts in SF. Ive always really enjoyed cooking and i believe its more than a passion for me. My other option that i believe that i have is joining the Army National Guard. I thought about joining a couple of months ago but i guess i just lost contact with the recruiting officer and yeah.

Well anyways i went to San Luis Obispo with Kristina today and i was driving the whole time, and now im really starting to hate driving to places that are hella far haha. I told Cece i should invent like a car that you just tell them where you want to go and they just take you there without you driving yourself. Haha idk? Its an idea? Lol well we had dinner there at "Firestone" and met up with her friends so she could catch up with them. 3 1/2 hours there and back. I hate sitting in the car for that long. But thank God they invented cruise control or id be more exhausted at the moment lol.

So like my good friend Gabe says 'actions speak louder than words'
Dont say your going to do something and dont do it in the end. Where will i be in 5 years? I dont know. And like i said in one of my earlier blogs..I dont usually ask people for help but i sure could use some right about now..

Tuesday Feb. 24th, 2009

So about my day..

For some odd reason, i woke up early. Well early to some people is like 6am or whatever, well i woke up at 10am. I usually sleep in till about..1 or 2pm. Just because i dont go to school or dont have a job at the current moment. Once i woke up Brahyan instantly asks me if i want to hookah haha and of course we do. I mean why not use it if you bought it right? Haha

Well i was on aim and talking to Mandy and i guess she had a 2 hour break till her next class so she came over to Brahyan's heez and she brought me some pretzels (hella good) haha so Thank You =)
and she keeps telling me how shes in love with Ant(Mr. Tonic) yeah yeah yeah whatever haha all the girls like him.

Well i finally went home after a couple days and it felt good to shower in my own house haha. I think the best part of today was just chillin at home and my grandma making me a sandwich for lunch =) i was talking to Cece and i told her for some reason it tasted just a little bit better than usual and she said because she made it with lots of love haha. that had to be the cutest thing i ever heard but maybe cuz it was made with lots of love? haha

So i finally seen Gabriel Abastillas haha, havent seen him since me and Kristina visited him and Leona and my new niece Kaitlyn Marie. Yeah this guy, i have so much respect for him. Not just because he has a daughter now, but because of all of the struggles he has gone through. I can honestly say he is my best friend, i love him like he was my own brother. But yeah anyways we went to walmart so he could get a new headlight light for his car lol. Then he dropped me off at Brahyans and then like an hour later we hung out some more.

We went to go eat at Best Burger because our friend Mandy works there and thank God, we got there in time to get some free food haha. I just ordered a jr cheeseburger because i was gonna eat some more later on and wanted to save some of my appetite. Also during that time i was texting Cece because she was bored in class. How do you really have class from 7pm-10pm!? Thats crazy and toooo long for me. I mean i hate night classes already, i couldnt just sit on my ass for 3 hours not doing anything lol.

Finally said my goodbye to Gabe and went back to Brahyans because Eddy bought pizza for everyone. It turned out to be a very chill night. Just talking with everyone and having everyones good company can never ruin a night. Then Aj and Devin came out and we hookah'd for a little bit.

Soooooo right before they left, i was on iminlikewithyou.com and playing this drawing game with hung,cece, and kristen AND aj and devin were still here so they were helping me during the whole time i was playing so HA to all 3 of them hahaha. They didnt know so yeee! lol

Haha so yeah heres a picture of my friend Cece because she is the one who is always telling me to blog when i dont even know what to blog about.



Its our only picture together at the moment but whatever haha. I hella didnt even know she did the 'oh shaww' thing until i saw the picture. Geese on me haha

Well i think thats a wrap for me. Peeeacceee

Sooner Than Later

Its just one of those nights where i dont know what to really write about.

Well a couple of months ago, i came across a Drake song. 'Sooner Than Later' and to be honest to really reminded me of my ex-girlfriend.. Just makes me think about everything i did wrong in the relationship and more. It was just a song that had me thinking. Like to be honest i do miss her. I have nothing to lie about with that. She was my first true/real love. Like we dont talk anymore but i still love and care for her. Shes always going to be someone i will care about even tho she is not in my life anymore.

heres the song btw.

Sooner Than Later - Drake

So today i was thinking to myself, that im really wasting my time right now. I dont have a job, and i dont go to school. FUCK im just wasting my life right now. I dont do shit everyday. I know people are telling me to go back to school and go look for a job but looking for a job is not as easy as it sounds and for going back to school, i dont have money to go back and for everyone who told me to do financial aid, i fucked up in my 2nd semester of college and now i need to go back and complete 12 units before qualifying for it.

FML is basically on my mind at the moment =/

Im not really the type to ask for help..but someone please help me..

Bored

Here at Brahyans house. currently watching 'Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1' haha yeah. its on tv but hella censored shit and blah blah. whatever lol

Last night we had a lil kick it at his house. Omg, i hate heem now. its really starting to taste nasty and gross to me now. idk how much more i can drink with that. well yeah i got drunk off of that and played beer pong and sucked terrible. haha maybe cuz i was drunk already? haha well yeah hella random ppl came through and we have our own lil hookah bar in here now haha. should come by and try it =) haha. yeah i was hella drunk and drank alot. BUT i didnt yack! woo! haha

well im only blogging right now because SOMEONE said to becuase shes bored and wanted me to update this haha. I dont think this is enough for her to read so im just gonna type random shit now haha

ummmmm.......

Oh and i told cece that i would meet her half way last night haha. idk? i told her i would bring her to church the next day too haha. i drink too much =( NAHHHHHH!! lol

well...i guess thats all for now? haha AIM me if you see me online becuz i get bored alot =) 'toosoberto'

Just one of those nights..

Ive had my mind on alot of things these past few weeks. with girls, home, friends, babies(kaitlyn marie =]) and many different things.

So last thursday night/friday morning i stayed up until about 3am to wait for Drakes "So Far Gone" mixtape and it didnt even come out till about 930am haha but whatever. it was well worth the wait. If you havent listened to it, then you should. I believe that his music is way different than many artists out right now. He doesnt rap or sing about being a thug or how hard his life was when he was little. Every artist has a message to send out to everyone and im still trying to figure out his message. Hopefully ill get it soon.

Well im back at home now. At my grandma's house. It isnt as bad as i thought it was going to be. Its still different because i havent been there for a long time. But recently i havent really been sleeping at home but when i do, im very thankful that im back home. Its good to wake up and my grandma ask me if im hungry haha and plus its all FREE =)

Girls, Girls, Girls... Girls i do adore... Its hard to find someone out there that is perfect for you. Im sorry but i still dont think i have found that person. Tonight made me think and i kinda wanna go back to being celibent (meaning no sex till marriage) or atleast with someone that i believe that im going to spend the rest of my life with. I know im still young and i have a long time before im actually gonna get married. Im still confused with all these feelings i have inside of me. Its hard to really just spill out how i feel towards someone. I did once and now that person is currently with someone else. A setback, so its really hard for me to express how i feel. I usually hide it all inside because im scared of not commitment but of rejection. Everyone goes through rejection sometime in their life but it just comes to a point where you can only be rejected so many times before you realize you dont wanna open up to anyone. I might be coming up to that point.

"music take me away...'