Blame it on who? Blame it on Me.

I havent blogged for a minute now.

Thursday; Hello Cutie @ NV....FAIL. Next time ill be going there is for BlackoutSF's 1 Year Anniversary with J. Holiday in the building so hit me up for more details about that yo!

Friday; Uprising 1 Year Anniversary @ Mist....Fucken gay becuz there was hella GUYS there. Omg i swear me and Bradley were just sitting and watching more and more and more and more guys just come in by the minute. I could of sworn the guy-girl ratio was like 25:1. Horrible, well not too bad until about 1230am when i finally got my wristband and started drinking and drank up pretty quick and got drunk fast! Haha danced a little bit and yeah.

Saturday; Jubilee @ The Regency Mansion... TOOOOO sober that night. Probably like 700 ppl that came? Chilled on stage most of the time and just watched everyone dance. Wasnt really feeling it and wanted to leave around 1230am and didnt leave till about 345am. All good tho it was crackin if you were rollin or something haha.

Toooo much clubbing this week for me. Thinking about taking a break from it for a bit. So ive been thinking about this whole relationship thing with me and i know i dont NEED someone here to make me happy or any of that good stuff BUT it does feel good when someone feels the same way as you. I know its hard to find someone real in this fake world we have but i know somewhere and someday i will find that one person that will just take my breathe away. Until that day i will just wait for her to come into my life. Not telling you to hurry up or anything but give me a hint? Haha

"You SUCKDICK, i SUCCEED' - Weezy.

Dreams

So i woke up and didnt remember my dreams like usual haha

So i went back to sleep becuz it was about 9am haha so then i fell back asleep and had this very random dream about someone. Someone that i havent really gotten along with and i guess this dream is just a sign for me to try to patch things up and make things better.

So im in line with my brother and mom somewhere. Then like i believe someone disrespected my mom so then i got into the guys face becuz you dont do that to someones mom no matter who you are. So then right after i looked at my brother to think he was going to back me up but his bitch ass didnt and right before i was gonna throw a punch at the random guy i woke up....

Maybe its a sign.. idk time will only tell.

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I would just like to say, to you FAKE ass people that are so called my friends you guys are so full of shit. Nigga you make yourself awkward. Like its really come to the point where i dont even care anymore. I just think how funny it is. How i attempt to say wassup and you give me this ugly ass face. LIke if its really like that, then why do i bother? Becuz i believe that i am the bigger person in this situation. But now its come to the point where i dont care. I rather lose both your friendships.

Anyways to some good news, i couldnt sleep the other night so i was bored and was just looking around and applied to T-Mobile and yesterday afternoon i got a call back and my interview is later today! Juiced and nervous but i hope i get it. A jobs a job, and ive been looking for one for hella long and i need something positive to rock out this crazy life of mine. And it would be great to have money too haha.

Thats it for now. To be continue..

Here is my continued part..

So i went to my interview i think it went pretty good. i will be calling them tomorrow afternoon to follow up on my interview and hopefully i get something back from them. i didnt even celebrate 420 becuz i was scared if i get a call from them then ill have to do a drug test and all that good stuff haha. but whatever its nothing special not like i cant do that shit anytime ya know? haha

On to more serious business..
Random crazy ass Monday night. This is to a specific person and i say all of this in the nicest way possible.. You're fucken crazy. Blah blah blah is all i hear from you and you FINALLY wanna do all this shit now and try to be all tough and say i talked shit about you and that fag, nair i have better things to do then talk about yall. thats just a waste of time.. So whoever told you that whatever i dont really care anymore. If you think i did say something then sure whatever. Becuz your life these past couple of weeks have been full of drama and i already have enough of that in my life at the moment, so keep your gay shit to yourself and leave ME alone. That would be great and about your belongings, dont worry youll get them BUT if i even see your car on my block its all bad for you. Dont come to my house and try to disrespect me and my family becuz you dont know us like that.

Ohh and i finally get my webcam so let's vchat yall =)

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So i've been chillin with Eddy, Brian and Kryss alot lately. Just to try to clear my mind and homes whack because they hella have like church services here haha.

Being bored in my room sucks balls. I really miss my xbox 360.. and I wish I had a webcam haha.
So Eddy just got a new video camera and we'd just been hella messing with it and recording everything thats been happening haha. Our future channel on youtube is gonna be called 'E2B TV' haha. So look out for us? Lol.

So I had a talk with someone, and she basically helped me thing about some things. That when its awkward between two people, one of them is going to have to break the awkwardness and try to make things better. Well not like make things better so quick but try so that it wont be as awkward. I believe that I might be the person to try to fix things and just help the friendship out. I dont like not talking to her. We used to just talk about anything and it was so easy to just talk to her. Hopefully that can start up again soon.. And if not, then i can atleast say that I did try to rebuild our friendship.

"You can have my heart, or we can share it like the last slice" - Drizzy

So Far Gone

FML. Its almost 3am and i cant sleep at all.

I think my insomnia is coming back..

Alot on my mind but dont want to say anything. What do you do if its 3am and you cant sleep? Fuck it, ill blog haha.

Dont really know what to say right now or talk about. Havent done anything all day. Didnt go to HIN or the HIN after party. Not like i missed anything at HIN anyways, i can go to the club and look at half naked girls for free haha

When i really need to just chill and relax i just listen to music. Im not on the Drizzy hype because ive been listening to him before most of yall anyways. Yeah im pretty sure you havent even heard his first mixtape? Room For Improvement? Yuuupp.

Novemeber 18th. Listen to it. Makes me wanna go get lit. Very calm song for me.
Maybe ill try to sleep? Idk maybe take some nyquil or something to help me sleep. Fuck it.

Peace Eazzzyy.

wise words from a decent Man

Auto Response from Notarealsn21: Take the time to read this...

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there."

Continued..
So yes its very hard for me to trust any girl at this point in my life. Either every girl doesnt trust you nowadays and always thinks your like the 'rest of the guys' when they dont take the time to just trust you when they think your just going to break their heart. Maybe all girls are the same? Im not really trying to rush into anything but just to know that someone feels the same way about you is good. Feels nice that your wanted by someone else. This isnt out to anyone in particular, this is just in general. I always thought you should believe your heart instead of your mind. Im not some player trying to talk to hella girls or anything like that. When i have my mind set on someone that i truely care about then i really try to just focus on them and only them. But then its just so hard now. Just have to wait and see what the future holds for me and that person, whoever she is and where ever she is a the moment. Open your heart and put your pride aside because you never know what could happen between you and someone.

i thought this was the perfect song for this post;

Over And Over (Feat. Tim McGraw) - Nelly

Long Time Coming

I actually havent blogged in hella long. Well alot has happened since... like last thursday? So thats where i'll start;

Thursday Night; Went to NV and actually had hella fun. Havent danced like that in hella long. I was tipsy but it went away hella quick. And for all the negative shit that happened that night, whatever. Let it go because its not worth talking about at all. Had fun, had a couple drinks in me that didnt do shit. OH and the highlight of the night for me was when we were leaving and either the drinks finally hit or something and i hella turned on a street and i was going the wrong way haha =) lol

Friday Night; Hungs Party in San Jose. It was coo, got a lil tipsy until the end. It got shut down around.. 130amish but i went inside and drank some more jungle juice and then i think it finally hit me when we were on our way home haha. I had fun that night tooo =)

Saturday Night; Concord for a BBQ, killed 2 bottles before even going to Hayward. Remmy XO mmmmmhmmmmm. And also killed some Muekow. I think thats how you spell it. Chilled over there and ate and played some video games. My last shot in Concord was fucken Crown too. Well got to Hayward already hella drunk and drank some more. Had to be the DJ cuz Brians hella gay and doesnt have any music on his laptop. Well i had fun that night too from what i can remember. Haha

Blah blah blah lets skip to something exciting. Went to LA Wednesday night for Eddy's court date thingie and we ate at Rosco's and then left around 1230ish? I fell asleep till about 4 in the car because im sick but then i drove back from Patterson to home. Went to Abyss last night, and it was a coo night. Actually danced SOBER too. Yes i just stand there at times, its not because im TOO COOL or whatever its because im sober and i dont like dancing when im sober haha. But it was a good night, got home and fell asleep on the phone with her =)

So now idk what to talk about.. Go to Whisper tonight for Mr. Tonic SF's birthday bash!
Peace Eazy.