Hope

Is what i have.

"Hope gives us power to keep going in tough times. It has been said that a person can live 40 days without food, four days without water, 4 minutes without air, but only 4 seconds without hope." John C Maxwell

Break,,

my heart is breaking slowly..

i try, and try and try again.

i dont know what to do anymore...

i hope she understands my feelings are real.

Last Blog.

This is going to be my last blog for a while. No point on pouring my heart out there anymore. This one isnt going to be about happiness.

To; The Crazy Bitch,
I'm sorry your life fucken sucks that you have to try and make other peoples life horrible just like yours. Your so full of shit. Meeting you was the worst mistake in the world for me. You talk about 'change' but no one see's change. NO ONE. Like im sorry you cant just be happy for someone who is trying to find new happiness in his life. You cause too much fucken drama and when everything comes back to you i hope your ready to deal with the consequences.

To; Her,
Drama happens whether you like it not. Its just about letting it get to you. I'm not saying you're a weak person and you cant handle it, but maybe your past experiences ruined it for us. And also that stupid ass fucken person who is fucken crazy. Honestly, yes it hurt when you told me everything and said your done because of 1 stupid person. And now i cant do anything about it but hope for the best and hopefully your mind will change in the future. If not then, thank you for the happiness you brought into my life.

To; Everyone who heard the drama
I dont give a fuck whatchu heard. Believe whatever you want, just remember i wasnt the one who talked shit about anyone, who even brought up this whole shit. You know why? Because im bigger than that and i dont want to waste my time causing more drama into this world. So. if you're my friend and you believe her BULLSHIT then whatever. Then we shouldn't be friends because youve seen this out of her before.

PEACE.
NO BITCHASSNESS.

Untitled

When you believe you have found happiness in your life, something good, something special. Keep it with you as long as you can. Because you never know when it could just happen to leave.

You can receive happiness from everything. Even the littlest things can bring some sort of happiness into your life. When you're going through hard times, you always try to look at the bright side and believe that everything will be fine.

I'm hoping my happiness doesnt leave anytime soon. If it does happen to leave.. then we'll see what else happens. If my happiness stays and then ill keep it as long as possible. Lets hope for the best.

Sleepless Nights

They consist of me laying down in my bed, in the dark not doing anything. I try to sleep early, but most of the time it doesnt work. I turn off the tv because thats what is usually keeping me up because im bored and its something to do and watch when your bored.

Another thing i do during this late night insomnia is listen to music. I havent listened to every song on my iTunes, but i know one of these days i will. Usually some R&B at night so i can be sleepy.

My late night insomnia also consist of a lot of myspace. Idk like i check it as if someone is really on at 4am leaving me a comment or something haha.

So i've decided to really try to stay home alot more now. Well if i go out, come back home at night so i can sleep in my own room. I also even began running again. I'm starting to gain weight and i need to lose it and get back into shape because no one likes a fat ass. Well maybe one person, and thats why i like her =).

Dont really know what else to say right now, so i guess ill just end it.

For that special someone of mine;

Wait For You - Elliot Yamin

Still On My Mind

Yes she is still on my mind. She knows who she is. I know that it is hard for us to see each other since she is across the bridge and all. The only times i really get to see her is at clubs. I'm sure alot of people believe that having interest in someone in the whole 'club scene' is bad and blah blah blah. But i see more than that in her.

I believe that she is something different. I believe that it's not what others say or do. Its really what YOU and the person your interested in say to one another. Don't let other try to bring their negative thoughts into the relationship that you are trying to build with them.

She makes me happy. I love being around her. I know i can be myself around her and we can talk about anything and everything for hours. I would still remember our random insomnia talks till about 3am. Just talking about anything that would come to mind.

I hope she see's that I'm different. I hope i get another chance.

Done

Happiness always comes to and end. Always have a postive mindset and have faith in what you believe in.

I thought i had happiness in my life again, but i guess i was wrong. Now im back to square one.

Sure it hurt, and it still does. Yes i still think about her. Does she still think of me? I couldnt answer that for you. You would have to ask her for yourself.

But i need to move forward and leave the past in the past.

'The past is called the past for a reason, the future is called that because its unknown, and the present is called that because it truly is a gift' or something like that. Lol

Think

So much shit going through my mind.

I have someone new on my mind. shes sweet, cute, easy to talk to and way more than i could ask for. she also has her little party side haha.

but she said alot of many different things to me. just had me thinking alot to myself and im not really sure if i should even say anything on here. well honestly all i have to say about that situation is that dont let your past ruin the present time or even what maybe your future.

Dont know what else to say.

"you want to think of today, as the past" - Drizzy

TGIF

TGIF!

Well it doesnt really matter to me because i dont have school or a job so everyday is the weekend to me haha. Hmm... had a Wasted Wednesdays here at Brahyans house haha. Helllla zooooted and hellllla drunk haha, i even yacked and i dont remembre the last time i did. They also told me i looked hella pale right after =/ i need to start eating good again.

Thursday Night-Abyss
I was suprised by Sunshine =) she told me she was going to Glaskat. Really made my night. Had a very good time with her. It was a good night even though i was sober and someone wasnt haha. Dancing with her and holding her tight and getting those litto kisses from her really made my night. And i know she broke me off more than once haha. Stupid Brian and them hella trying to cheer me on lol and omg haha. Maybe if im drunk i can keep up? Lol

Well im waiting for Taken to start again. I hella didnt realize that light was coming out until i had to go pee haha. So im gonna cut this short because i think the time thing is over haha.

Imy Sunshine =)

Sunny Dayz

Alot of different things have been going on in my life. I know that i need to get my life together. Im doing my best to look for a job but the economy these days is fucked and hella shitty.

I plan on going back to school this upcoming Fall semester. I really want to attend the Culinary Arts in SF but thats wayyy too expensive at the moment for me. The cheapest i seen was maybe $35,000? And thats the cheapest!? Well maybe someday ill be going there.

I really feel like cooking right now? Idk why haha. I know alot of people believe that cooking is for women and the woman is suppose to be cooking but nowadays you see alot of guys cooking on TV too.

Well today is most likely gonna be just another day. Nothing too exciting because its Wednesday and there isnt anything exciting about a Wednesday lol.

Well thats it for now.

P.S. Sunshine =)

I Stayed Home Today?

Yeah i know.. WEIRD! Haha but whatever i guess. Felt good to just be at home and chill and not waste money that i dont have haha.

Watched alot of tv today but thats what people do when your at home. AIMing it up with a few people. Nothing really exciting happened to me today. I ate alot? Haha but whatever its home cooked meals and i love those.

Hopefully tomorrow i can do something productive and actually clean my room cuz its a HOT mess.

Umm... So yesterday went to Great Mall and copped 2 new hats. Woo Hoo! haha jk and ummm came back to Brahyans and drank a little bit (not an alcoholic) lol and hookahed our last bowl. Whack.

Uhhh...Dont know what else to say so. Peace easy.

Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Connie! =)

I Give Up

I'm sorry ive been wasting your time.

Not much i can really say. So im going to end it here.